Monday, September 20, 2004

The New Infidelity: Women on the Rise

In July, Newsweek proclaimed an alarming new trend: that the number of women cheating on their husbands is rapidly increasing. Though men have long been pegged as the gender with the wandering eye, some women claim that women have been cheating all along – just not getting caught. Today’s three stories illustrate this new trend:


Meet Jameelah and Nathan – their marriage has weathered several affairs, Jameelah’s bout with ovarian cancer and long-distance separation. Though they’ve stayed together through it all, the couple now has a major problem with trust. Nathan feels extremely betrayed because Jameelah not only cheated on him once by kissing someone, but she also engaged in an affair with her brother-in-law in their own house. See Jameelah and Nathan explain their situation.

Jameelah contends that she was driven to have an affair because Nathan was away at school during her cancer treatments; she is also convinced he’s had an affair of his own.

Relationship expert Dr. Debra Mandel commended them on their openness and willingness to talk about their issues. She encouraged them to putting blame on the other for their problems and to accept responsibility. The couple was offered counseling in their hometown by Larry.

Mike Torchia makes his living as a personal trainer in Hollywood with a largely female clientele. A self-described “lonely wife’s dream and husband’s nightmare,” Torchia says he has slept with more than 40 of his married clients – sometimes in their homes that they share with their husbands. Torchia defends his behavior, saying he felt an emotional connection to each client. He adds that if a woman is neglected at home, he considers it his own personal responsibility to show men how to properly treat a woman.


Imagine how you would feel if your wife of 23 years left without a word. John doesn’t have to imagine – he lived it. Five years ago, John noticed his wife Vivian had been spending a lot of time on the computer at night. In November 1999, she disappeared without a trace. John and his daughters Kristine and Janine spent many worry-filled sleepless nights waiting for news, when they finally found out that she had left the country and had been carrying on numerous online affairs in a special cyber-sex chat room she had set up.

To this day, John still has not heard from Vivian, though his daughters have recently seen her again after several years. To help others deal with the pain he has gone through, John has set up a website called ChatCheaters for those affected by infidelity.

Quick Clicks

Are you trying to save your marriage? Visit our Advice Archive for the following helpful articles:

Ask the Experts: Dr. Debra Mandel
46 Clues Your Partner Is Having an Affair
What Everyone Needs To Know About Extramarital Affairs... And What You Can Do To Help
10 Crucial and Surprising Steps to Build Trust

Visit Dr. Debra Mandel’s website:

If you are dealing with infidelity in your marriage, please click here to tell us about it.
Visit these websites for advice, support and information on infidelity: