My Husband Has
a Double Life
Have you ever suspected that your husband was hiding
a secret? Women’s intuition is not usually
to be ignored, especially it’s a hunch about
cheating or deception. The women on today’s
show discovered the ultimate secret after years of
marriage -- that their husbands are gay. With New
Jersey Governor James McGreevey’s recent disclosure
to his wife and the world that he is homosexual,
this is an issue that has been thrust into the spotlight.
Find out how today’s guests coped with the
unexpected news that turned their love lives upside
down:
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When Darryl and Joy got married 12 years ago,
he confessed to her that he thought he might be
bisexual, which Joy was completely okay with. Though
the couple was then and now still professes to
be deeply in love, Darryl started experimenting
sexually with men in 2001. He rationalized his
actions, saying that it wasn’t cheating since
it was technically not something he could experience
with Joy.
When Darryl finally confessed his preference to
Joy, she was shocked and hurt but has stayed by
his side, largely out of allegiance to their three
children. The two contend that they have a healthy
relationship and that they are just like any other
couple who are no longer sexually attracted to
each other.
See what Joy has to say about adjusting to life
as the wife of a gay man.
Show expert and relationship guru Dr. Debra Mandel
commended Darryl and Joy on their commitment to
their children and seeing each other through this
difficult time, but she suggested that Joy may
be holding onto the relationship out of fear of
starting over and being alone.
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Pete and Kathleen”
Pete and Kathleen chose to share their story anonymously,
as Pete is only out of the closet to a limited
number of people. Kathleen says that for the first
seven years of their marriage, they were a “typical
couple” and that there was no indication
that Pete was bi-sexual. Unknown to Kathleen, Pete
had two extramarital affairs with men and finally
disclosed his indiscretion to her when she was
four months pregnant. Now their families are struggling
to accept this news while Pete and Kathleen have
permanently separated, though they stay in contact
for their daughter’s sake.
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As the founder of the Straight Spouse Network,
Dr. Amity Pierce Buxton has worked with more than
9,000 couples who are trying to adjust to a spouse’s
homosexuality. Dr. Buxton founded the organization
after her husband came out of the closet 25 years
into their marriage. She and her husband struggled
to understand why they were not sexually compatible,
when he realized that he had been suppressing his
gay tendencies for years. Now through the Straight
Spouse Network, Dr. Buxton is devoted to helping
couples heal the pain that comes with such a revelation
and giving the necessary support to help them move
forward.
Quick Clicks
Visit the Advice Archive for the following articles
and more resources on today’s topic:
Someone I Love is Gay….
Now What?
What’s Best for
the Kids: Easing Your Children Through Separation
or Divorce from an LGBT Spouse
Visit Dr. Debra Mandel’s website:
www.drdebraonline.com
If you suspect your spouse may be hiding a secret,
please click here to tell us about it.
For more information on the Straight Spouse Network:
www.ssnetwk.org
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