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Tuesday, November 16, 2004

“My Spouse Denies Cheating But I Know They Did”

Suspected infidelity can tear apart the most solid relationships. Today’s guests wanted the truth from their mates about whether or not they’d been faithful.


Larry gets to the bottom of John's anger at Christina


Eddie is twenty years older than Judy and suspects her of cheating on him with his own son. After catching Judy with another man in the past, Eddie feels that an affair with his son would be the final blow to their relationship. Because of all the suspicion, Eddie has not spoken to his son in years. Judy wants Eddie to accept her apology for her lone affair and believe that she would not cheat on him with a member of his family. Dr. Debra Mandel advised the couple that they must stop focusing on the past and move into the future. She also recommended that they set rules that will raise the comfort and trust levels in the relationship.


What if a) you had your tubes tied but found condoms in your husband’s pocket b) your spouse had girls calling your house all of the time c) your husband’s sisters openly disliked you? Jacqui’s life is applicable to d) all of the above. She is suspicious of all of Rob’s female friends and frustrated that his family won’t accept her. Rob disputes that he has been cheating. Larry advised Rob that in order to make things right with Jacqui, he must stop involving his sisters in their love life and stand up to their disapproval.


Over a span of three years of marriage to Christina, John has had three affairs he admits to. He attributes his cheating to feeling young, trapped and pressured. Though he is now committed to saving the marriage, John is still having trouble accepting his reality. Video Clip: Larry asks John why he is angry at Christina when it should be the other way around. Dr. Debra Mandel commended John on his efforts to rectify the situation and asked him to consider learning to apologize with no “buts” attached.

Quick Clicks

Advice Archive: Why does infidelity happen? Get answers and here.

Advice Archive: Visit our Relationships section for more great articles on love dilemmas.

Win a copy of Dr. Debra Mandel’s book, “Healing the Sensitive Heart.”

Visit Dr. Debra Mandel’s website:

Has infidelity affected your relationship? Tell us about it.

Post show counseling services provided by Ann Kramer, M.S., L.M.F.T., Moreno Valley, CA, 92553. For info on this therapist goto, click on "Find a Therapist."