to Ask for a Gratifying Sex Life
By Sharon Koenig
So your relationship has changed over the years
since you said “I do” and sex isn’t
what it used to be. You should know that this
is normal and commonplace in the majority of marriages.
But knowing that you are not alone does not make
you feel any better nor does it get you the satisfying
sex life that you once had. You simply can’t
go through the trials of life without changing.
Some men and women feel that if their spouse is
not interested in sex, this gives them license
to have an affair. Being in a committed marital
relationship puts the responsibility on you to
improve your marital sex. Though bringing the
passion back into your marriage is not a one-way
street. At the end of the day, you can only change
Take a look at your lifestyle first; this will
help you determine what needs to change. If you’re
both so tired from dealing with children, work,
money and household chores then no wonder your
time between the sheets is a wee bit dull. So
you find that you are both working 24 hours a
day, seven days a week, now you realize that it
is time for a break and enjoy each other just
like you once did when life was a little more
One of THE BIGGEST mistakes a couple can make
is to not pay for child care, pay for a maid or
take little mini-vacations -- in a nutshell, taking
time for each other without all of the stresses
of running a home and family. Yes, I can hear
you saying that this is costly. Let me put it
to you this way, would you rather pay for a maid
every now and then to give your wife a break or
a Marriage Councilor or worst a Divorce Attorney?
I know, not every sexually dissatisfied relationship
ends in divorce; however, a dissatisfied sex life
is statistically one of the biggest reasons that
people get divorced. So here are some tips for
you to improve marital sex:
- Locate a “Parents’
Night Out” service to care for the children
and take your time with each other to do the
things that you fell in love with in the first
- Take a little more pride
in how you look. Studies show that men respond
to visual stimulation so ladies, take heed and
spruce yourself up from time to time. Let’s
face it, the sweatpants are great for doing
chores around the house but when your husband
comes home from work, freshen up for him and
maybe even make your man melt when he lays eyes
on you. Men are not off the hook here, either.
That extra tire around the waist may need to
go. If you’ve been carrying around too
much extra weight since your dating days, maybe
it’s time to get a Health Club membership.
These behaviors happen to all of us and it’s
easy to fall into a rut. That’s okay,
but if you want more passion, then act like
you’re dating each other all over again.
I can’t guarantee that you will get some
tonight but you are no doubt on the right track.
- Let’s not forget
about communication. This is touchy if you have
a spouse who is uncomfortable talking about
sex. If you choose to put this effort forth,
you must bring up this subject in a calm, relaxing
environment. Talking about this during a marital
argument is a definite no-no. Bringing blame
or being defensive won’t solve the problem
either. Above all, be patient with each other,
try new things, have a sense of humor and remember
to make time for a date night, which of course
includes time for a spicy, passionate sex life.
Often sex is plentiful, but
just simply boring. It is a challenge for most
married couples to add newness. To learn more
and to discover free sex tips to improve your
marital sex, log on to www.sweetintimacy.com.
©Copyright 2004 Innovative Associates.
Sharon Koenig writes articles, free tips and
advice intended to improve marital sex since 2002.
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