Why
Consistency Is The Key To Raising Well-Behaved
Kids
By Michael Grose
Being consistent when children are less than perfect
can make you feel dreadful. However, consistency
is one of the most important elements in the relationship
with your children, but it is the one most frequently
overlooked.
Consistency means dealing with the little misbehaviors
and not letting them grow into bigger behaviors.
It means saying no to children’s constant
requests for five more minutes of television at
night or a third serving of ice cream. It means
following through and allowing children to experience
a consequence every time they misbehave. If children
arrive home after dark from a friend’s place,
don’t ground them sometimes but at other
times just voice your disapproval. That type of
inconsistency makes you responsible for children’s
misbehavior and teaches children nothing about
accountability.
Consistency also means that both parents have a
similar approach to behaviors. If Mom is too strict
and Dad is too lenient, children will know who
to go to if they wish to take advantage. They will
soon play one parent off against each other. If
a child wants to get away without doing a job or
stay an extra hour at a friend’s place, he’ll
just ask Dad because “he’s easy-going.” Even
if you are separated, talk about your approaches
to discipline and find some common ground. Agree
on such issues as family rules, pocket money, guidelines
for going out and suitable consequences for misbehavior.
If you disagree with a partner’s approach,
do so behind closed doors. When unplanned situations
occur, don’t be afraid to tell your children
that you need to consult with your partner before
making a decision. Children will realize that you
are working as a team and that you are making a
considered approach to their behavior or request.
Consistency, like routines, is often sacrificed
by busy working parents and put in the “too
hard basket.” When we are tired, stretched
and overworked, the last thing we want to do is
engage in a battle with children over what are
sometimes petty issues. You may have spent the
whole day dealing with difficult customers or colleagues
only to come home and find that you have another
battle on your hands with equally belligerent children.
So to avoid an argument, a tantrum or tears, you
give in to your child’s unruly behavior or
unreasonable request.
Giving in rather than being consistent and holding
your ground is not a smart long-term strategy.
Kids learn quickly how far they can push a parent
before he or she gives in. If you give in occasionally,
they will learn that if they push you hard enough
and long enough you will cave in. Consistency is
about being strong and holding your ground. That
is hard work because the average child will push
parental boundaries about 30% of the time and more
difficult kids push your boundaries twice that
much. It is hard work being consistent but good
parenting demands it.
Michael Grose is Australia's leading parenting
educator. He is the author of six books and appears
regularly on television, radio and in print. His
landmark parenting book, “One Step Ahead,” offers
a comprehensive strategy to help you effectively
manage children’s behavior. For further ideas
to help you raise happy children and resilient
teenagers, visit: http://www.parentingideas.com.au
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
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